“All of it remained just that: fantasies.”

Worthless!) Memories of forsaken chances for connection haunted her— nights where she’d turned down the possibility of warmth, of touch, of intimacy. So many nights she yearned just to feel someone’s embrace, and giggle and flirt, fantasies of love play on a soft bearskin rug in front of a roaring fireplace—dreams of enjoying life—giving up all her aspirations just to love and be loved. All of it remained just that: fantasies. She had remained disciplined, denying herself all of it for the sake of an agenda—an agenda to leave Hawaiʻi, to get off the rock, to make her mark on the world.